Happy Anniversary Polenblog!!!!!!!!

Only four days late.

(Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. . . it got removed from YouTube for violating their rights of service. Hopefully you saw it. It was nine seconds of two camels making angry noises while somehow being in the front and back seats of a car, with their heads out the window.)

Update: I found a new link for it.

You’ve been talking on the phone in your horrible nasal screech of a voice for the past 45 minutes, about NOTHING, when you should be doing all the work you couldn’t do yesterday. And why couldn’t you do your work yesterday? Because for some completely unknown reason, you decided that you should defragment your disk drive at 9 a.m. on a work day, and when it started slowing down your computer even more than it must have already been running (with you adamantly stating “I don’t have Facebook or any of that stuff on my computer” to the help desk while you whined and whined - NO KIDDING, did you know Facebook is BLOCKED here, so NO ONE can have it on their computers, never mind the fact that Facebook is a website and wouldn’t put much on your hard drive anyway, maybe a couple of cookies or something, but I digress), and even if you’ve never defragged a drive before and didn’t realize that it turns it into a paperweight for hours, you didn’t think “Gee, I can’t work, I should postpone this until tonight”, NO, you thought “I HAVE TO CALL EVERYONE I KNOW AND BITCH ABOUT IT NON STOP FOR EIGHT FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!” and then to top it off, you complained about the loaner laptop that they brought you - what do you think, you’re going to get an awesome super fast loaner? You’re a fucking administrative assistant, you’re lucky they brought you a loaner to begin with! And the fucking techie was trying his best to get you up and running, and all you could do was complain, and slam all your drawers and bang stuff around.

Speaking of which, I have never met anyone who makes more noise than you. Everything you do is a commotion. Your over-dramatic sneezes, your constant five second throat clearing, your attempts to do work, EVERYTHING YOU DO IS TOO LOUD! I sit THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU, separated by what feels like a cotton sheet, because I HEAR EVERYTHING AND I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT.

That was 52 minute phone call. Do you feel better now? I don’t. Nice sneeze. Your boss walked by twice. He didn’t even pay attention to any of your fucking bullshit. If I was your boss you would be fired so fast you wouldn’t know what hit you. As I’m not, I just fantasize about what it would be like to drop really heavy things on you. Ooh, a piano. Oh, an anvil, just like Wile E. Coyote. How about a safe? A set of Ginzu knives? (Not that heavy, but just as satisfying.) A vat of acid?

I hate you I hate you I hate you,
Twin C

Twins B and D came over one night last week, and B riled up Hamilton so much that he got overly excited and puked on his shirt. I had forgotten that Hamilton would occasionally do that - he gets so exuberant in his “happy dance” that he boots. He hasn’t done it in a little while, mostly because I try not to get him too hyper after I’ve given him food.

Twin A, not having been there, thought that whenever Hamilton did the happy dance he was going to puke, because apparently that’s what his cats do. However, A also noted that when we were little, the PolenMom would tell us to stop tickling D so much, because we would make him throw up. We never did make him puke.

That’s many more chances you get to see Martin Dockery in his latest piece, entitled “The Surprise”. I saw it this afternoon and really enjoyed it. The show is only an hour long and it is jam packed with goodness. I don’t want to give any of the plot anway, so all I will say is there is DEFINITELY a surprise. Maybe even more than one.

Go to MartinDockery.com (over there in the Friends of Polenblog) for all the details.