April 30, 2008

How could I have never noticed

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 3:19 pm

The love child of Big Mike and Twin D?

On 14th between 5th and 6th Aves.

Lunchtime Kvetch!!!!!!!!

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 12:37 pm

My managers have been out of town all week, so there’s not much for me to do.  Other than have to listen to the fucking horrible irritating beast on the other side of my cube, who this morning had a 45 minute conversation with someone about how she’s going back to grad school and how she’s going to be the oldest person there, and how she can’t transfer her undergraduate credits, and a whole lot of other stuff I managed to ignore while thinking to myself “She’s so dumb I can’t wait until she flunks out”, and “Does she even have an undergraduate degree?  What is it in, excessive throat clearing?”  She also has one of those “Easy” buttons from Staples.  When you press it, it says “That was easy” just like in the commercial.  People like to walk by and press it.  I want to walk by and smash it.  Or at least take the batteries out.  She also has a Newton’s cradle (five suspended steel balls, you pull one back and let it go, and it transfers the energy through the balls to the other end, it goes back and forth that way for a while) that people like to set off, and then walk away, so I have to listen to “clack clack clack clack clack” for a few minutes at a time.  And to top it all off, today she keeps visiting websites that play horribly annoying MIDI versions of “Happy Birthday”, most of them with a callypso beat.

I swear I want to take a baseball bat and smash everything on the other side of my cube.

How are you?

April 28, 2008

Junk Food Blog!

Filed under: PolenBabble — Twin C @ 11:21 am

I did get one good thing out of Administrative Professionals Week.  One of my team members always sends me a box of goodies.  This year, it was a little more exciting.

Behold!  Office Spoils!

A lovely three tiers of tasty goodness.

Let’s start with the top, shall we?

Perhaps the tastiest of them all.

I am using the crappy camera on my cell phone to take these, so you can’t read what they say - “Chocolate Pretzel Cluster”.  NICE!!!!!!!

It’s going to be hard to top the first box, but let’s see what’s in the middle.

A delectable combo!

Not too shabby.

And now, for the big box at the bottom - more brownies?  More cookies?  Entirely filled with chocolate pretzel clusters?  (OMG that would be awesome)

Oh my goodness I can hardly stand the anticipation. . .

Hooray!  Lots of cookies!


This goes really well with the two boxes of Thin Mints I have in my drawer.  Well, at this point, it’s a box and a half.

I think I need to start going to the gym again.

April 24, 2008

Administrative Professionals. Bleak.

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 4:58 pm

Our magical week is coming to a close.  I usually get depressed this week no matter what, but this year has been worse.  I’m feeling even more trapped than usual.  The golden handcuffs are tight, and chafing.  Not nearly as chafing as the horrible woman on the other side of my cube, talking as loudly as possible through her nose to some manager about all the upscale restaurants she goes to, and how she really wants to sleep with Jake Gyllenhaal, but Reese Witherspoon beat her to it.  I can’t imagine why anyone would EVER want to sleep with this woman.  She is average at best, and as soon as she opens her mouth people should run away, from both the sound of her voice and the stupidity of her conversation.  It’s a real pleasure sitting next to another Master of the Inane, now with kung fu grip (on my slowly shattering psyche).

My two managers gave me an orchid this year.  It’s very pretty.  And my other orchid, that I rescued from someone, is about to bloom.  I will take a picture of it when it does, and post it for your viewing pleasure.

April 18, 2008

Fafblog is back!!!

Filed under: PolenBabble — Twin C @ 11:00 am


Grab your rabbit’s foot,

Filed under: PolenBabble — Twin C @ 10:28 am

and your four leaf clover,
We’re going to have matzah
for Passover!
Oh boy boy boy b-b-b-b-boy boy boy boy boy boy b-b-b boy boy

(with accompanying beat box)

Ah, the old Passover rap. Created back in high school by a friend, it still comes to my mind every year. I hope it comes to his as well. I found him a few years ago on MySpace, which was really fun - we hadn’t been in touch for years before that. We haven’t really been in touch since then either, but as someone who deals with but hates the fact that people are transitory, keeping as many old friends as possible on MySpace and Facebook and Friendster and LinkedIn and whatever other social websites I can find makes me happy. Even if I’m not constantly communicating with them, just knowing where they are pleases me. There are a few old friends who I can’t find, and may never find, and that’s okay, but I’ll be happier when I get the friend request from them.

In the off chance that they google themselves (and who doesn’t? My question is, do you wiki yourself?), here’s two people I’d love to hear from:

Tara Potter - we were in college together at Binghamton, she left after my junior year, we spoke on the phone a few times and then lost touch when her number out on Long Island went bad (this was before the days of widespread e-mail. Yes, I am old.)

Elizabeth Beaumont - we were residential advisors together for a summer at CTY (which Twin A went to and also was an RA for, and which “nobody” was one of his campers, and which RJ of Procrastinet was an RA for and actually got me the job) and became very good friends - she was from Arizona, and went to England the following semester, where we exchanged a lot of letters (again, before e-mail). We lost touch after that.

So Liz or Tara, if you read this, you might not remember me, but hopefully you do, and you should say hi in the comments or something. We used to have the “Twin Communication” section, but when we updated WordPress, for some reason it won’t keep the e-mail addresses - it puts them into http:// form and makes them all wonky.

I’ll be heading upstate this afternoon to the PolenParents for Passover, although I’m not sure how Saturday is going to go. Our last remaining grandparent, Grandma Sylvia, has unfortunately broken her leg after a fall, and is going into surgery today. Her prognosis is very good, which means that tomorrow we’ll go to Princeton University Hospital to see her, and then go home and have a seder, or maybe just have dinner. Or maybe I can convince the PolenParents that the best thing to do, since we’re already in Jersey anyway, is to go to Atlantic City for a blackjack seder.

On Sunday, PSB and Twin A and Twin D and Jax are coming upstate as well (Twin B might be coming up with me later, or coming tomorrow - I have to talk to him), where we’ll have our big traditional family seder, hopefully with the ancient hagaddahs with the horseradish stains and the typos. It’s not a good Passover unless we can yell “BRUNING!” a few times.

April 10, 2008

The Ides of April

Filed under: PolenBabble, Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 4:38 pm

I’ve always gotten my taxes done early - the Polendad’s accountant used to do them for me until we saw how much he was charging (hundreds of dollars for just one W-2 to process???!?!?  Jerk.  Dad’s gonna charge you extra for your contact lenses now.), and lately, using TurboTax Online, which has always been easy.  Really easy.

But this year, everything’s gone awry.  First of all, now that we’re married, PSB and I were going to file jointly, as you usually get a lot more money back.  PSB was missing some of her paperwork though, and after kvetching and complaining she finally got it yesterday.  YESTERDAY.  Six days, sure, we’ve still got time, but isn’t it, like, against the law to not send tax information to people by the middle of February or something?

So we have her information, and I’ve already put all of mine into TurboTax, and she gets hers in, and I’m looking over everything, and there’s some sort of inconsistency about our address, so I go to change it, and then I accidentally click on my name somewhere and it disappears, so I re-enter it, and it looks like we’re totally good to go, until PSB says “We’d get more money back if we file separately!”  So we file separately.  She gets her e-filing in, no problem.

But there’s now something wrong with mine.  It’s giving me an error.  Except, after doing a little TurboTax research, it’s an error that online users shouldn’t be getting, only people who are using the actual program, which I have never done.  I search all the help features and can’t find any way to fix it.  I try to delete the file, and it won’t let me.  I give up, and call the help number.  I get someone very nice and friendly immediately (surprising since the website said it would be a 30 minute wait), and I tell him my problem, and he says “What?????”  I tell him again and he says, “That’s crazy.”  45 minutes later, he’s still completely baffled, and the resolution turns out to be that I get a free copy of the federal and state programs, as there is no other possible fix.  (I downloaded the federal program onto my work computer and installed it, but got nervous as we’re not supposed to have any sort of extra software on our machines, so I uninstalled and deleted it.  Now my Outlook is acting funny.  I’m really hoping it’s a coincedence.)

So when I get home, I’m going to download the programs, upload my current tax info (that I pulled off of the online program), and finally get my taxes done.

At least I don’t owe any money.

April 8, 2008

Improv Everywhere is TEH AWESOME.

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 11:04 am

They just get better and better.  I love their latest mission:


April 1, 2008

This also makes me so angry.

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 4:42 pm

One of my managers is trying to get me more engaged.  Unfortunately, the way she is doing this is by having me do really menial tasks.  This, of course, disengages me even further.  Tonight she has me color coding her calendar for the entire month.  I can’t even describe how miserable it’s making me.

On top of this, we had a big admin meeting this morning, and it turned into the same old bitch session it always does - everyone wants more money and less responsibility.  I want to stand up and scream “SHUT UP!  IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR JOB, QUIT AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!!”  The admins here are spoiled rotten.  We get paid better than almost any admin job out there, I can guarantee it.  Ever since I put my resume online, I’m getting spam from recruiters, and all the admin jobs start at $35,000.  We all make WAY more than that.  They want promotions, they want stock options, they want reward trips - good god, we’re fucking secretaries!!!!!  Get real!!!!  Be thankful your boss isn’t making passes at you with you not being able to do anything about it.  Or, like I said, shut up and quit!

I’m leaving in a few minutes to meet some friends at Planet Rose, the karaoke bar in the village.  I think I’m going to sing the saddest songs I can think of.  “The Sound of Silence”, anyone?

This makes me so angry.

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 2:20 pm


There is absolutely NO reason why gas companies should have any sort of tax breaks with the amount of profit they are making.  And there’s no reason why the Senate shouldn’t be approving the same measures that the House has, twice, taking away these tax breaks.  And there’s no reason why our total idiot of a president should veto it, if it finally does get passed.

$123 BILLION DOLLARS IN PROFIT.  Taken directly from YOUR pockets.  (No car for me - it’s bad enough when I rent one.)  Disgusting.  Not only should the tax breaks be repealed, but they should give us back the money they saved during this tax break.

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