April 22, 2005

Screw You, Hippies

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twin A @ 1:28 am

The hippies took down the server! My studio reeks of pachouli! It’s going to take the monkeys WEEKS to fix this shit.

Here’s a picture, to prove that you can now upload pictures.
Screw You, Hippie!

This is a picture of all 4 Polenbergs during Twin D’s legendary Sex Change phase.

Yeah.

April 20, 2005

what kinda fuckin blog is this

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin B @ 8:34 pm

what, we got ourselves a blog. blah blah blah that all I see on it. My jobs sucks, my punkass neighbors make too much fuckin noise, why won’t twin b and d post , blah blah blah. Sosa I wanted to spice it up a bit with a picture, a little feast for the eyes. But noooo, our grand admin
has it going to the wrong directory. Now this has gotten my tapeworm all worked up. He is really pissed now and might accually do what he has been telling me he’s gonna do. Its a secret, yes a
secret, very secret.
All this could have been avoided……. and the picture would have made all your days of you life and the nights too seem less of a freakish stinkpot than before.

They Won’t Tell Me Nothing. I Go Bleep.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twin A @ 3:21 pm

So I’m playing a Live PA set as Habitrail tonight at Remote Lounge. The organizer refuses to tell me when I’ll be playing. This seems to contraindicate successful promotion, but oh well. I am going to shoot for 10 or 11. Josh Goldberg and Chris Jordan will be VJing, and both of them are quite excellent. I will be going bleep bleep ba-deep, having moved what seems like 1000 audio files over from one application to another for the sake of not having to stop between songs, and far better stability.

So come by! It’s free!

Remote Lounge is at 327 Bowery @ 1st St. They have lots of fun sousveillance. Yup.

Memo to myself:

Filed under: PolenBabble, Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 9:52 am

“When out to dinner with coworkers, one of whom is a ‘fussy eater’ and one of whom is a ‘loud mouthed bossy obnoxious bitch’, do not choose somewhere with ‘family style’ dinners.”

We were at Carmine’s last night before the show, and I swear to God I’ve never wanted to strangle two people as much in my life. The fussy eater is so fussy that I don’t think she even knows what she likes/doesn’t like - I think she just likes to make things as difficult as possible. Basically all she eats is Wonder bread. No seafood, no fish at all, no mushrooms, no flavor. The bitch was so self centered - she had to decide all of the dishes, and because she’s Italian, she made sure to pronouce “escarole” properly. About eighteen times. Then promptly forgot to order it, and then blamed everyone else when she remembered again after the meal. All I wanted was some ravioli, but the chance of that happening went from slim to none when it was decided that penne ala vodka (which I personally think is gross - maybe no one’s ever made one that I’ve liked) was a MUCH better choice. I ate spaghetti and a meatball instead, and ignored as much idiocy as I could.

Fortunately, Spamalot was so excellent I forgot about all my annoyances. It was fantastic to see Tim Curry on stage, and he was very funny, although I thought he might have been phoning it in a little bit at times. David Hyde Pierce and Hank Azaria were hysterical - David had my favorite song of the evening, “You Won’t Succeed on Broadway” which I don’t want to give away, but let’s say it struck close to home. There were plenty of Holy Grail references, major and more vague, as well as some fantastic esoteric Broadway references - my favorite was a quick homage to Company, one of my favorite Sondheims. (Did you know I used to be a HUGE musical theater fan? Not so much any more - I’ll still go see them, but it takes A LOT for me to buy/listen to a soundtrack. Hedwig was the last one, and that was years ago. I still dust of my British Chess recording once in a blue moon. And I do hope that someday I’ll be able to play Seymour in Little Shop, despite the fact that it’s a tiny bit out of my range.) The show dragged a little bit in the second act, but overall it was terrific. It should be around for a while.

Tonight will be just a little different - PSB and I are seeing Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. I’ve avoided reading reviews, but have heard that Kathleen Turner devours Bill Irwin (which actually, isn’t that the point? It’s been a long time since I’ve read the play, but I seem to remember her tromping all over him. Until the end, anyway). I’ll let you know what I think tomorrow. In the meantime, I have crap to do. Hooray!

April 19, 2005

This is just weird.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twin C @ 3:22 pm

I was looking over the Polenblog stats, and came across a bizarre discovery. If you search “weblog hairy puss” in Google, we are the 13th link to come up.

Twin B, your posts have more value than I ever could have imagined.

Gooooood stuff on Fafblog.

Filed under: PolenBabble, Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 12:43 pm

Go read. Now.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, and I’m completely not getting anything accomplished at my desk. I rationalize staying up way too late on work nights, partially because I hate going to sleep because it means I have to wake up and go to work. However, there’s really no excuse for me to be playing Bejeweled 2 from midnight to 1:45 a.m. (Sometimes I read instead.)

We get to leave a little early tonight, as we’re going out to dinner as a team (minus our manager, who is out sick today) and then going to see Spamalot (which my manager bought a ticket for, and then declined later on, realizing that “it’s not her sense of humor at all!” She tried to give me her ticket for free, but someone on my team who originally wasn’t going changed his mind, so he took it and paid for it). It should be great.

I’m irritated at work for a few reasons - one is, there’s a rewards trip to Puerto Rico next week for certain members of my department who were all voted on in December. However, I just found out that a few days ago, the head administrative assistant (who supports the Vice President of the department) was invited to go. I “innocently” asked my manager about it, and she said “Oh, well, we had some cancellations, and she was third down on the list of alternates, and the first two people couldn’t go.” She didn’t mention if I was on this list or not, which inclines me to think I’m not. Now, I don’t know if I’d really want to go on this award trip - a free trip to Puerto Rico would be awesome, although there’s a lot of stuff going on next week here in NYC that I don’t think I would want to miss. But considering the amount of work I do for the department, and especially for this trip itself (I created the voting surveys for the trip, tabulated all the results, been working consistently with the vendor sending information and items to them, working with my manager on trip items, etc.), why didn’t I get invited? Perhaps I would feel better if she had said “Oh, you were next on the list.” I feel underappreciated by my manager - the other girl who’s work I did for two weeks bought me two bags for chocolate, and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire. She rocks.

My other irritation is a bit more vague. We have monitors in the elevators that run the Captivate network. You’re supposed to be captivated by all the interesting news tidbits, stock reports, weather reports, and “feel good” stories, but instead you’re held captive during your ride and forced to look at commercials and idiocy. There’s a “word of the day”, which are usually words that if you don’t know, you should be shot. Today’s word is “acquiesce”. Definition: “to consent without protest”. This rubbed me the wrong way, as I think people already know this word, as usual, and if they don’t, like I said, they should be shot. But also, I’m becoming painfully aware of my own acquiescence with this job. I’m not pursuing my acting career - just not interested right now - and my poker dreams are fledgling and fraught with tumultuousness (try that one on for size, Captivate network!). I’m spending 40 hours a week in a place that at best mildly depresses me and at worst makes me want to throw myself out a window. And this is why I don’t go to sleep at night, and then I’m a mess the next morning, and then I sleep for 15 hours on the weekend (unless the cat makes too much of a ruckus) and PSB wonders why she is dating a cranky sloth.

The kvetch ends here. Go look at Fafblog now.

April 18, 2005

Thrash That Shit!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twin A @ 1:32 pm

In the continuing saga of Old, Decrepit Me, Just Wanting Some Peace And Quiet vs The Horrors Of 248 Mckibben St, I bring you this radio play.

Act 1, Thursday, April 14:

Sound Effect: Extreme drilling and hammering of wood.

Sound Effect: Footsteps, and a knock on the door of Apartment 3Q

Me: Hey, you guys building something in here?

Punk Guy: Uh, yeah.

Me: You know it’s midnight?

PG: Really?

Me: Uh huh.

PG: Uhh, OK.

Sound Effect: Drilling/hammering sounds continue for another 10 minutes, then abate.

Act 2: The Next Day, Friday, April 15

Sound Effect: Swooshing skateboard wheel sounds punctuated by thumps abound from next door. Something strange is afoot!

Sound Effect: Once again, footsteps, and a knock on the door of 3Q

Me: Hey, did you guys actually build a half-pipe?

PG: Yup.

Me: Is it going to live here?

PG: Uh…. It’ll be… in and out.

Me: It’s loud as shit, man.

PG: I put it up on neoprene! Ummmmm.

Me: Whenever you wipe out my entire apartment shakes.

PG: Can we just thrash for a bit?

Me: Fine.

Act 3: 2 AM the next morning

Sound Effects: An insanely fucking loud party is happening next door. Punctuate a soundtrack of hiphop and generic D+B with the visual of some insanely gross substance that a partygoer has wiped on our door. This substance looks gooey and viscous and is slowly sliding down the door. Nobody dares touch it. The hallway is filled with cigarettes and beer bottles. Broken glass lines the floor of the 1st floor stairwell.

Sound Effect: Loud laughter from the alcove directly outside our door.

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Asshole in hallway: That was funny man, it was funny.

Me: Fucking go outside or go in the party, assbrains. (Note: I did not actually say ‘assbrains’, though I wish I did)

Sound Effect: An infiltration of an annoying party filled with drunk-ass early 20somethings.

Me: Dude. It’s 3:30. Turn the music down.

PG: Sure, dude. It’s cool.

Sound Effect: Music goes down for 5 minutes, and then comes back up again. Somehow, without making the radio play last 2 hours, connote that this persists until 5 AM. Also find a way to sonically personify our frustration as we do not call the cops, as they hate us.

Final Act: The next day, Saturday, April 16, 12 AM

Sound Effect: Sound of further X-treme thrashing from the next door.

Me, amplified over our PA, turned up halfway: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAD BETTER NOT FUCKING SKATE TODAY — WE DIDN’T FUCKING SLEEP ALL NIGHT!

Sound Effect: sound of thrashing quickly subsides

finis

Note that the insanely weird substance is still on my front door. 3Q has been informed of its existance and asked to remove it.

So I ask you, the “Polenblog Community,” as it were, to please help me figure out a way to punish the subhumans who live above and next door to me. No holds are barred. We are looking for ways to do this and not go to prison.

Yesssssssss.

Filed under: PolenBabble — Twin C @ 1:09 pm

From The Hollywood Reporter, via Boing Boing:

‘Napoleon’ gets boy toy treatment

Twentieth Century Fox Licensing & Merchandising and McFarlane Toys announced a new licensing agreement to develop a line of action figures based on characters from the hit movie “Napoleon Dynamite.” The toy line, which will hit store shelves in the fall, will feature characters Napoleon, Pedro and Kip. “Napoleon Dynamite and action figure may seem like an oxymoron, but McFarlane Toys has the appreciation and understanding of this character and the film to create some truly fun and highly appealing toys,” said Peter Byrne, executive vp licensing at Fox Licensing & Merchandising.

Also on Boing Boing, someone is going to be selling PacMan hats. They’re cute! I’d still rather have a Katamari Damacy hat though.

Oh yes, she’s back.

Filed under: PolenBabble — Twin C @ 10:15 am

I made such a fuss this morning pretending to want to strangle her that one of the other managers opened up his office door and looked around in confusion. (He was just moved to our area a few weeks ago and he’s not used to the ruckus we raise.) I’m so excited to dump the three huge piles of paper I’ve been hiding in my desk on to hers. . .

The weekend was nice. Dinner with the sexplorer and her flova was cool, but I didn’t really care for the movie we saw - “Short Cut to Nirvana” - about the 12 day Kumbh Mela festival in India. The festival itself is pretty fascinating - it happens once every 12 years, attracts 30 million people, has a vague Burning Man feel as the babas and gurus set up “theme camps”, and there are plenty of blinkies at night. . . but I found the movie to be disjointed, not really telling a story, and the cinematography gave me a headache. Weird special effects when none were necessary - in fact, I think it took away from it when the screen went all blurry and trace effected.

Online poker tore me a new asshole yesterday. A few mad calls and some crappy luck, and in an hour I lose winnings it takes me a week to earn. Back to the books for me!

How was your weekend?

April 15, 2005

One Of These Days These Boots Are Gonna Stomp All Over JEWS!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twin A @ 4:56 pm

so I don’t know how Gavagirl keeps finding shit that’s this fucked up, but in case you missed it:

http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/mmc1/public/mmc1birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h1-4161

the title of this post comes from a song we saw perfomed by a skinhead band on some documentary we saw on TV when we were in high school. made me want to go out and start a pogrom, or something.

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