August 10, 2005

IMville: “We want to hear from YOU!”

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 4:45 pm

We’ve had two really awesome comments recently (thank you Michael H and Princess Yum Yum!), and a few other good ones as well, as well as an amazing shout out from RJT at Procrastinet (which I unfortunately had nothing to do with, being away and all, but basque in its glory I will, nevertheless), but it’s been a little quiet lately. Twin A comments and I respond:

Twin C 723: excellent comment from michael hamilton
drplacebo: oooh. will go check it out.
drplacebo: fantastic!
Twin C 723: yup
drplacebo: people need to comment more. we’ve had 150 visits for the last 2 days.
Twin C 723: pretty good
drplacebo: i think you should kvetch that people aren’t commenting enough, and give mad props to Michael and Princess Yum Yum
Twin C 723: perhaps i will.
Twin C 723: right now.
drplacebo: and talk about the good ol days where nobody used to post like 17 times in one day
Twin C 723: hmmm
Twin C 723: i’m feeling vague about this post.
Twin C 723: it feels cheesy to ask for comments.
drplacebo: use The Power Of Kvetch!
Twin C 723: i’m just going to shout out to Michael and Yum Yum.
drplacebo: talk about how lonely the blogosphere is.
drplacebo: and how in cyberspace, NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!
Twin C 723: aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Twin C 723: scary!
Twin C 723: silent scream. rated R.
drplacebo: starring The Schmoo
drplacebo: and Twin B As Mystery Bacon Killer

So, yes, we acknowledge that it’s cheesy, but we’d like more comments. Even if it’s to tell us that it’s cheesy.

Sincerely,
the Twins.

May 26, 2005

My Third Asspost

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin A @ 3:37 pm

This is the IM conversation that Twin C and I are having this very minute:

[14:43] drplacebo: rager.
[14:43] twinc723: i took some drugs but it’s not going away
[14:43] twinc723: blargh.
[15:07] drplacebo: more drugs! more drugs!
[15:10] twinc723: druggie druggie druggie druggie
[15:51] drplacebo: druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs
[15:52] twinc723: druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs
[15:52] twinc723: just heard from PSB in texas
[15:52] twinc723: they’re still shopping
[15:53] drplacebo: for drugs!
[15:53] twinc723: at drugs.com!
[15:57] drplacebo: my favorite!
[16:00] twinc723: buy all your drugs at drugs dot com, yes buy all your drugs at drugs dot com!
[16:01] drplacebo: here i go!
[16:01] drplacebo: yay!
[16:01] twinc723: i’ll take some vicadin, please!
[16:02] drplacebo: i’ll take the morphine for $200!
[16:03] twinc723: ooh, morphine!
[16:04] twinc723: pill spill on aisle 4, i mean, never mind, they were all eaten by eager customers!
[16:04] twinc723: (too bad it was EXLAX!!!! har har har har!)
[16:06] drplacebo: oh noooooooooooooooo
[16:06] twinc723: how’s your arrgh now, arrghy?
[16:06] twinc723: or is it arggh?
[16:06] twinc723: no, arrgh.
[16:13] drplacebo: it’s nonexistant, it’s already exploded. you bastard!
[16:15] twinc723: you need to ass blog again.
[16:20] drplacebo: look, i’m no assblogger
[16:20] twinc723: third ass post is the charm!
[16:21] drplacebo: oh yeah! here it comes!

My third asspost is now complete.

Love,
Twin A

May 24, 2005

Another IM goes (horribly?) awry.

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 2:52 pm

Twin A and I were IMing about this and that, and look what happens:

(typical Polenberg kvetchery)

drplacebo: it’s amazing that we’re only as fucked up as we are, and are capable of happiness at all.

Twin C 723: well, i hate you, and i wear underwear on my head.

drplacebo: yeah, well, i hate you, and i taped a KICK ME I’M JEWISH sign to my ass.

Twin C 723: yeah, well, i hate you and i have sex with watermelons, including the vodkamelon we tried to make at burning man in 2001.

drplacebo: yeah, well, i hate you, and i’ve got a Golden Retrievers Of 2005 calendar on my wall, with a hole cut in each Golden Retriever’s butt that i’ve lubed, and have sex with, EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH!

drplacebo: that’s gross, btw, about the vodkamelon. eww.

drplacebo: i’m going to get lunch. obviously i have won this battle of hatred.

Twin C 723: i was laughing too hard to respond.

finis

April 7, 2005

Twin C Loses His Mind. Twin A Watches.

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 4:06 pm

Our IM just a minute ago:

drplacebo: i’m booooored. entertain me

drplacebo: yah!

Twin C 723: blarghity blargh blargh blargh

drplacebo: bloggity blog blog blog

Twin C 723: fucking (WORKPLACE NAME CENSORED SO I DON’T GET FIRED) bullshit fucknut cockamamie bullcaca crapdung fuck.

drplacebo: whoa.

drplacebo: i’m , like, reling.

drplacebo: reeeeeling

Twin C 723: i feel better now.

drplacebo: nice

Twin C 723: i’m totally not doing the work i’m supposed to be doing anymore - i’m just staring at all the paper

drplacebo: pee on it! light it on fire! do it! do it!

Twin C 723: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzorp

Twin C 723: psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Twin C 723: fwoof!

drplacebo: go go go go go !

Twin C 723: tsssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Twin C 723: AAAAAAAAAAAAA! MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

Twin C 723: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Twin C 723: *gasp*

Twin C 723: THUD

drplacebo: your hair is so short. i don’t believe it.

Twin C 723: not my hair

drplacebo: unless you mean… your pubes! EWW!

Twin C 723: EWWWWWWWWWWWWww

finis

March 31, 2005

Flame War Hilarity.

Filed under: IM Madness, HA!, Burns — Twin C @ 11:12 am

My friends RJ and John Devore get into it in the comments section of RJ’s blog, Procrastinet. I hope he doesn’t mind, but I’m posting them here because they make me laugh SO hard. They’re arguing about the state of theater and Peter O’Toole’s comments in the Guardian UK, but I don’t even think you need to know that. . . I wish I could come up with such luscious insults off the cuff like these boys. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Procrastinet
Comments: The Withered Husk of Peter O’Toole Completely Loses Its Mind

RJ, you’re such a pompous whiner.

Bad art exists subsidized or on the free market.

And I’d go so far as to say that artists who owe no responsibility to an audience or a bottomline are encouraged to crawl into their own navel and rot.

Collegiate theater anyone?

Move to Britain, you goateed Marxist windbag. Go to Britain and make sure a funeral cortege of wannabe sell-out off-off-broadway “artistes” with you.

Posted by devore at March 30, 2005 12:08 PM

Look, beyotch, all I’m saying is if I’m going to be a smart-aleck twat, I’d rather be a PAID smart-aleck twat. Not all of us have figured out how to sell our mental flatulence to Maxim.

And if you’re going to try to tell me that you didn’t have more fun doing snotty, whiny, entitled college theatre than scraping around the periphery doing nights-and-weekends budgetless self-prod in Billyburg, I’m going to say you’re a liar as well as a faux contrarian pseudo-cynic.

Posted by rjt at March 30, 2005 12:24 PM

Don’t project your self-hatred on me, you fancy ass, tap-dancing vegetard.

And your slight to scrappy, sincere little po-dunk theater’s in Billyburg is duly noted, fat mouth. You’ll never work on that block again. Oh, I have that power. How will you know? Burning effigies, my friend. Cotton goatees on fire.

And no, I didn’t enjoy the deafening vaccum of college theater. That’s decorative art for dead people.

You want an easy paycheck? There are no easy paychecks. I labor blindly and one day the little piles of shit that I step into will maybe, not really, but maybe be a wee little pot of gold.

The rewards of art transcend the petty, pinheaded definitions of what we’re told success is. Per your previous post, chasing a band through the rain with your son is one such mark of success that transcends the tawdry earthly ones.

Also: you’re a goat-licking, nipple-shaving, body odor-rife mounteback with poor metaphysical hygene. If you were a fruit, you’d be a pineapple. Ungainly, full of thorny prickly leaves, and you taste great with vodka.

Suck on that vengence, Stalin.

Posted by devore at March 30, 2005 12:34 PM

You misspelled “hygiene” and “vengeance.”

That said, I yield in the face of your superior flame war kung fu.

There’s lots of substantive discussion to be had on this topic, which I can’t get into because I’ll just start calling you names again. Suffice it to say that, whatever the cause, the theatre in London is for the most part really, really good.

Polyp.

-R

Posted by rjt at March 30, 2005 12:54 PM

Oh, you think i’ll let you off that easy, you fudge juggling, playground gravel chewing, neanderthal ballerina blog trash dryer sheet sniffing lover of festering ziggerauts of doggie doo on the corner of your nearest street?

ok.

xo

Posted by devore at March 30, 2005 01:49 PM

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