July 24, 2009

Some of my favorite texts.

Filed under: IM Madness, HA! — Twin C @ 12:18 pm

My phone is kvetching at me that my mailbox is too full, so for your amusement, I’m going to put some of them here.

From: (the guy I used to do meeting coordination with)
in orlando airport, thinking of you

From: Twin B
U suck.

From: Twin A
This thread is useless without pictures.

From: Dr. Brainwave
There’s no snooze button on the birdie alarm.

From: Twin D
Fagabeefee

From: Big Mike
Ha ha! Now to send spam mail the olde fashioned way.

From: Twin A
Ok Tito you got it

From: Big Mike
Sorry dog. Am upstate. And broke. And have bad luck. And believe gambling is a sin. And I don’t trust Polenbergs.

From: Twin D
I don’t even understand you.

From: L
What up biotch?

From: Twin D
Go spank it.

From: Twin A
Sucka

From: Twin D
Suck it.

From: (meeting coordination guy)
Sorry sucker

From: Twin B
Pisssss.

From: Twin D
Pig fucker.

May 8, 2009

Wiki or not wiki. . .

Filed under: IM Madness, HA! — Twin C @ 8:32 am

(Twin A and his campmates were talking about creating a wiki for Image Node. I lurk on the list.)

Twin A:
tell me what to download and i will do it. it would probably be good to
have a wiki for the whole camp anyway, right?

JC:

Twin A penis:

tell me what to download penis and i will do it. it would probably be good to
have a wiki for the whole camp anyway, right penis?

just to let you know ahead of time, if we have a camp wiki i am going
to vandalize it penis. it’s beyond my control, but i thought you
should know.penis if you can find a way to set it up so that edits
with the word “penis” in them are automatically rejected, that would
probably help a lot.penis

penisJC

Twin A:
is there a tech term for a wiki that everyone but JC can add content to?

JC:
penis

Twin A:
You see, everyone, this is why we can’t have nice things.

January 15, 2009

C and D at work via e-mail

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 11:18 am

(talking about an expected promotion, possibly two, from my job)

C: i’ll get a merit raise within a month i think, and then the promotion to the higher admin level should also come with a raise.

D: sweet. and hopefully some sanity.

C: i don’t know if i’m going to have any left. it’s just about gone. i’m going to stab the woman across from me. i HATE HER VOICE SO MUCH AND ALL SHE DOES IS TALK.

D: I don’t want to visit you in jail, so please don’t do it. Plus my e-mail is monitored so they have the evidence here.

C: it’s been swell, buddy. don’t forget to send me the materials so that i can make a fifi bag.

May 18, 2006

Word to your biznatch.

Filed under: IM Madness, HA! — Twin C @ 1:46 pm

Twin C 723: can i go home now?
Twin C 723: i should blog about mon - wed
Twin C 723: ugh - my headache is coming back
Twin C 723: um, i think the blog is down again.
drplacebo: i will resuscitate it
drplacebo: it’s going sloooooooooow
drplacebo: i don’t know what’s up with it
Twin C 723: I HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
drplacebo: shut up and blog, sucka
drplacebo: it’s back up.
Twin C 723: dear diary,
Twin C 723: why is twin a so mean?
Twin C 723: he stole my ice cream again.
Twin C 723: and he won’t make me any cinnamon toast.
drplacebo: why do i even host a blog for your ice-cream-drippin kvetchy punim?
Twin C 723: host THIS!
drplacebo: huh, I ASK YOU THAT, GOD? WHY ME? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
drplacebo: it’s a hosting party in my pants!
Twin C 723: aw yeah!
drplacebo: bwakka bwakka bow bow
Twin C 723: brb
drplacebo: yeah, well now i’m brb
Twin C 723: yeah, well now I’M BRB!
drplacebo: YEAH, WELL NOW I”M BACK! I GOT BACK! SHAQ ATTACK CLACK A LACK!
drplacebo: bow.
drplacebo: you know what vengeance you’re to be suckin’ on right now, stiggity stizzalin
Twin C 723: Cause Blacque Jacque Shellaque is roughet toughest muklukest Canuck in ze Klondike
Twin C 723: AW SHIT!
drplacebo: muklukest? what kind of saskatchewan shit is dat, homes?
Twin C 723: http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Blacque_Jacque_Shellaque.html
Twin C 723: don’t ask me.
drplacebo: nice. i have no sound here, but i will peruse at home.
Twin C 723: i just googled “shellaque” and that’s what i got.

April 26, 2006

Oh IM Madness, how I’ve missed you. . .

Filed under: IM Madness, HA! — Twin C @ 2:17 pm

drplacebo: i’m going to get a gyro.
Twin C 723: ok - i’ll be here, gyro
Twin C 723: did you ever know that you’re my gyro. . .
drplacebo: eww
Twin C 723: i just asked a manager if she needed anything from office depot.
Twin C 723: she tells me: I need one of those notebooks people use to take notes at meetings but I am not sure you can get them there. Do you know what I am referring to? (That other manager) might use them too.
drplacebo: did you say “you mean the ones… with paper in them?”
Twin C 723: almost
Twin C 723: Is it 8 ½ by 11 inches or smaller? Wirebound or more like a pad? Lined paper or blank? Anything special about the cover?
Twin C 723: i thought those were good questions.
Twin C 723: not “DO YOU THINK I READ MINDS?”
drplacebo: and most importantly: does it have a picture of a kitten on it?
Twin C 723: kittie!
Twin C 723: Does it fit in a Trapper Keeper or a Data Center?
drplacebo: is it controlled by the Master Control Program?
Twin C 723: Does it have a black and white speckled cover?
Twin C 723: Does it only say “yes” or “no”?
drplacebo: no no no no nnonononono
Twin C 723: Ut oh.
Twin C 723: MY RECOGNIZER A SPLODE
drplacebo: nice

January 12, 2006

Interface, Shminterface.

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 5:39 pm

drplacebo: i’m trying to decide whether or not to buy a digital camera and an ipod
drplacebo: for the trip
Twin C 723: dig cam yes, ipod hell no!
drplacebo: why hell no
Twin C 723: ipods are overhyped, dawg
drplacebo: but they’re nice
drplacebo: sooo nice
Twin C 723: feh
Twin C 723: feh feh feh
Twin C 723: don’t they do something bad to all your mp3 files too?
drplacebo: the other options aren’t that much cheaper, and don’t have the nice interface
drplacebo: only if you have itunes do your organizing for you, which you don’t have to, thank gawd
Twin C 723: oh, really?
Twin C 723: you can use other programs?
Twin C 723: what, like winamp?
drplacebo: no, you have to use itunes, but itunes doesn’t have to resort all your mp3s in its annoying way
drplacebo: it’s the only ipod bummer
drplacebo: we’ll see.
Twin C 723: interface, shminterface, d00d
Twin C 723: (in a girly voice) ooooh, i have a scroll wheel, i’m so special
Twin C 723: flowers grow out of my USB port, la la la la
drplacebo: oh, it burrrrnz
Twin C 723: har har har har
Twin C 723: take that, ipod.
drplacebo: ouch. my ipod hurts.
Twin C 723: hurtz!
Twin C 723: megahurtz!
drplacebo: gigaflopz!
Twin C 723: whoa
drplacebo: mezzaflipperz!
Twin C 723: who’s a wittle mezzaflipperz?
drplacebo: awwwwww mezzakittenz!
Twin C 723: awwwwwwwww
Twin C 723: woogie woogie woogie!
drplacebo: boogie woogie woogie!
Twin C 723: jump, shout, knock yourself out, biznatch.

*TIME PASSES*

drplacebo: i’m so buying an ipod. your hatin’ can’t stop me.
Twin C 723: booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
drplacebo: there isn’t a 30 GB player at the same price point.
Twin C 723: what the fuck do you need with 30 gigs.
drplacebo: SO MUCH MUSIC IT HURTZZZ!
drplacebo: also it works as a portable drive
Twin C 723: what the fuck does ANYONE need with 30 gigs.
drplacebo: buffy season 6, beeeeyatch!
Twin C 723: bah.
drplacebo: and i’m going to make the office give me one of the old Macs. then i’ll be a PC-hater.
Twin C 723: bah bah bah bah!!!!!
Twin C 723: i don’t know you anymore, japanese boy.
drplacebo: well, i want a mac for video editing. that ain’t so wrong.
Twin C 723: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
drplacebo: i have angered the mighty Twin C! now he will eat my Ipod!
Twin C 723: chomp chomp chomp
Twin C 723: TWIN C SMASH!!!
Twin C 723: no Twin C, not the photocopier!
Twin C 723: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR
drplacebo: aww! twin c out of control! beware!
Twin C 723: *horrific smashing noises*
Twin C 723: Will no one save us?
drplacebo: here comes IpodMan!
Twin C 723: TWIN C HEAR BARRY MANILOW!
Twin C 723: FILLED WITH LOVE!!!!
Twin C 723: MUST. . . HUG. . . EVERYONE!!!!
drplacebo: Time in New England…. Took me away….
Twin C 723: TO LONG ROCKY BEACHES
drplacebo: And JEWS by the bay!
Twin C 723: AND U2 BY THE BAY
drplacebo: AND AN IPOD U2 SPECIAL EDITION BY THE BAY!!! OH, BUSTED!

November 11, 2005

Days Of Our Office Lives

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin A @ 3:57 pm

[14:42] drplacebo: i can’t get anything done today
[14:42] twinc723: me neither
[14:42] drplacebo: we watched too many buffys last night
[14:42] drplacebo: i’m hung over
[14:42] twinc723: lol
[14:42] drplacebo: i just want to kill vampires
[14:43] twinc723: i’m reading about pat robertson threatening dover, pa, and the public’s response to it, either “that’s disgusting” or “you’re an idiot”
[14:43] drplacebo: threatening them with going to hell?
[14:43] twinc723: he said “if something horrible happens, don’t turn to god”
[14:44] drplacebo: nice
[14:44] twinc723: it was interpreted by the media as “God’s gonna make something BAD happen to you”
[14:45] drplacebo: if pat robertson actually has the speed dial to God, we’re all fucked.
[14:45] twinc723: pat robertson has the speed dial to a drug dealer, and that’s it.
[14:48] drplacebo: but he’s GOD’S drug dealer
[14:55] twinc723: what drug is god’s favorite?
[14:55] twinc723: i’ll bet god is a huge e-tard
[14:55] drplacebo: god is like, totally rolling his BALLS OFF, right now.
[14:55] twinc723: totally
[14:55] twinc723: all that love shit
[14:56] drplacebo: yeah, God’s Love We Deliver — DUH.
[14:56] twinc723: HOLY SHIT!!!
[14:57] twinc723: it’s front for DRUG DEALERS!!!!
[14:57] twinc723: it’s a front, i mean
[14:57] drplacebo: we’ve got to go public with this. you saw that hot gay guy on the poster, didn’t you. DRUG DEALER.
[14:57] twinc723: I GAVE THEM MONEY!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[14:58] twinc723: WHERE ARE MY FREE DRUGS?????
[14:58] drplacebo: hmmm. Ask The DELETED JOKE ABOUT YOUR WORKPLACE
[14:58] twinc723: ah
[14:58] twinc723: i found some DELETED JOKE ABOUT MY WORKPLACE.
[14:58] twinc723: i feel muuuuuuuuuuuuuch beetttewrf asdjk;dsa;fjd;as
[14:58] drplacebo: nice
[14:58] twinc723: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[15:01] drplacebo: nighty night fucker
[15:02] twinc723: sweet sweet sleep

November 2, 2005

Somebody Else’s IM Madness!

Filed under: IM Madness, HA! — Twin C @ 1:25 pm

From Defective Yeti, a very funny blog through Procrastinet:

An IRC conversation takes a snarky turn.

September 22, 2005

IM MEAT RAGE!!!!!!!!!

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 5:02 pm

This just in, as Twin A and I plan to meet:

drplacebo: i can get to onion square in 10-15 min
Twin C 723: me too
drplacebo: then we fight!
Twin C 723: yar!
drplacebo: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I USE THE POWER OF MEAT!
Twin C 723: i summon a plus three meat golem!
drplacebo: i cast Meaty Meat Shield Of Medium-Rarity!
Twin C 723: meatium rarity
Twin C 723: (although i get what you’re sayin as well)
Twin C 723: mmmmmmmmmmm
Twin C 723: your meat shield is tasty
drplacebo: noooooo! it is made of poison! MEAT POISON! DIE, TWIN C!
Twin C 723: with my dying breath, i cast. . .
Twin C 723: maaloxium moxie!
drplacebo: the chalkiest spell ever!
Twin C 723: it has a 50% chance of curing me, or a 50% chance of drawing my outline when i die.
drplacebo: roll D20\
drplacebo: saving throw vs. Extreme Heartburn
Twin C 723: oh no! critical miss!
Twin C 723: my heart a-splode!
drplacebo: ewww! my screen is covered in giblets!
Twin C 723: (mmmmmmmmmm, giblets!)

September 21, 2005

Not quite an IM, but still funny.

Filed under: IM Madness — Twin C @ 9:56 am

The four twins are going out to Peter Luger tomorrow night for a post-wedding steakfest. The following could have been an IM if we were all in chat together, but instead it’s been “reply all”ed a bunch of times. I like it. I will update it if the chain keeps going. It can only get funnier, now that barf is involved, no?

D: Reservations have been confirmed. Thursday, September 22nd. 8:45

B: meat.

C: i’m looking forward to some major meat rage, followed by some major bananas foster rage on sunday.

B: I’m soo gonna barf from all this all over D.

A: Not if I barf on D first!

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