June 25, 2013

Just a little post.

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 5:02 pm

Boy, I haven’t posted in a while. I never blogged about the spring trip to Las Vegas with Twin D which was awesome, I never blogged about how I spent 45 minutes cleaning puke off of Harry, his clothes, the car seat, the ZipCar, and myself while driving him to a birthday party in Manhattan, and who knows what other stuff. Perhaps I will return to those stories some day.

Today I just want to post this gif, because it made me laugh at work. (You’ll have to go to the site to see it, as I don’t think the Polenblog is set up for gifs or something.)

http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Oprahs-Bees.gif

February 22, 2013

A “Create a Song” Challenge

Filed under: Idea Time!, HA! — Twin C @ 9:04 am

So about a week ago I created an imaginary earworm. As in, I got a song that doesn’t exist stuck in my head. I came up with the lyric “And you’re so cray cray, but it’s okay-kay” at some point, and then it just played over and over and over in my head. In the hopes of removing it, I commented on Facebook that someone should come up with the entire song. The Prototype came up with the following, which in my opinion is ready for Top 40 action:

You’re so cray cray
But it’s okay kay

Cuz we only just a dick thang
We just a dick thang

Think you got me but you don’t
Gonna catch me but you won’t

Cuz we only just a dick thang
We just a dick thang

Girl you see me Rollin up
Whip cruz low
Wearing Dolce Gabana
Head to toe

You know you goin get wit this
Wanna flip this trick
And though you gonna hit this
No you ain’t goin stick

Cuz you so cray cray
But it’s okay Kay

Cuz we only jus a dick thang
We just a thang

Won’t get what you think you will
Just cuz you foggin up ma grill

Cuz we only just a dick thang
We just a dick thang

Now bay be you buggin now
With that mean look
Cuz I’m all up on some bitches
Offa your Facebook

And though you wanna dis girl
Know what this about
We still gonna get to this girl
Then I goin be out

Cuz you so cray cray
But it’s okay Kay

Cuz we only just a dick thang
Girl we a dick thang

You can try keep up the pace
But girl I got expensive taste

And we only just a dick thang
Yeah we a dick thang

Yeah you cray cray!
And it’s okay Kay

Hey hey bay bay!
Let’s just go do this this tonight
Cuz baby it’s tight!

And you so cray cray cray cray cray
Ok let’s do this tonight

May 18, 2012

It’s a Harold Double Shot!

Filed under: HA!, PolenBabble — Twin C @ 8:49 am

And here’s a bonus birdie video!

May 9, 2012

Look! I’m in Gothamist! Sort of.

Filed under: HA!, PolenBabble — Twin C @ 5:17 pm

http://gothamist.com/2012/05/09/mike_birbiglia_1.php#photo-17

April 12, 2012

I Went to Las Vegas and All I Got Was This Lousy Caricature

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 10:53 am

Don’t mess with my 80s karaoke style!

July 20, 2011

I went all Irma Vep on it.

Filed under: HA!, PolenBabble — Twin C @ 10:31 am

At 8:45 this morning, for the first time since college (I think), I locked myself out of my apartment, having neglected to grab my keys and wallet before taking the garbage out. I cursed a lot, because I had a 9:30 am meeting that I was going to be able to make with time to spare, except now, not so much.

I called my landlord, who said he could be there around 1:00 pm. That wasn’t going to work. I called the super, who said that he didn’t have a master key and he was in Manhattan, and that he usually used a credit card to break into people’s apartments when they locked themselves out, but since my wallet was in the apartment, that wasn’t going to do me any good either. I called Twin B, but he was at work. I wasn’t about to call PSB, since she already was having an insane morning and I didn’t need to add to her stress.

I then realized - sure, I didn’t have a credit card, but I did have my work ID, which should work just fine. I got to work on the door, but didn’t quite know what I was doing. I called the super back to ask how he did it, and he said “Put the card in by where the handle is and try to push the latch open - the door should just open up if you do it right.” So I tried again, but it still didn’t work.

It was 10,000 degrees in the hallway and I was getting more and more frustrated, and to make matters worse, my cell phone was dying. (In retrospect, this was not actually such a big deal, since I had my work Blackberry with a full battery if it came to that.) I decided to call a locksmith. I called the first number that came up when I searched “Brooklyn locksmith”, but the service I reached must have been 1-800-SLOWEST LOCKSMITH IN THE UNIVERSE, because it took the guy 15 minutes to take my information, and then he said a technician would call me back with an estimated arrival time. After 15 more minutes of waiting and sweating and cursing, I decided to go back at it with my ID, which was now looking a little worse for wear.

30 seconds later, the door popped open. I cheered, grabbed my keys and wallet, said goodbye to Hamilton, who had been calling to me wondering what was going on, and ran to work, where I made it in just in time to miss the end of the meeting. (I let them know I wasn’t going to make it via Blackberry.)

So now I’m at work, feeling much better, and actually a little bad ass at being able to jimmy my way into my own apartment. Tonight I will feel even more bad ass, when I have my poker lesson with Annie Duke. I then have to go pick up Harry, bring him home, meet up with the sitter, and then head back in for the Moth show tonight, where Annie will be telling a story. I can’t wait!

May 28, 2011

The Joys of the Pee Fountain

Filed under: HA!, Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch! — Twin C @ 9:17 am

I had heard of the mythical pee fountain for ages - a rite of passage for all parents, that ill timing when your baby decides it’s time to let forth a giant stream of urine right as they are on the changing table, diaper off, about to get a clean one on, or getting wiped down. Somehow I had managed to avoid it - over 15 months and I never got directly peed on. Once or twice when he was very small and his diapers were too loose, he’d go and somehow it would shoot out of his diaper and onto me. But never a direct shot at me before.

Last night changed all that.

I should have sensed that something wasn’t right - he was a little out of it, and his behavior eating dinner wasn’t quite normal. Sure, he was eating what he wanted (the mac and cheese) and thoroughly rejecting what he didn’t want (green beans, which he normally likes) by pulling it out of his mouth and tossing it on the floor. But he just seemed a little off, and Hamilton wasn’t helping (he had been good all day when I worked from home, but from 5:00 pm on went into “I will scream because I can” mode). When I went in to change him, the diaper came off, I grabbed a wipe, and suddenly, there was a lot of pee everywhere.

Fortunately for whatever reason there wasn’t a lot of pressure behind the stream, so it remained pretty much in control and didn’t get anywhere near my face or my shirt. However, it did go all over him and the changing table. Also fortunately, this was before I had gotten his pajamas ready. I assessed the damage and briefly considered trying to just use baby wipes, but once I saw there was pee on his shirt, that was obviously going to need to go over his head to come off, I realized it was no longer feasible.

Off to the tub with you, pee machine!

A quick fun bath later, everything was back to normal. He had his bottle and I read him a zillion books, and then, off to sleep.

All things considered, I still got lucky. Another dad I know got pee in his eye. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

April 17, 2011

Double Birdie Action!

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 10:03 pm

These are both super cute and super awesome in their own ways. . .

November 22, 2010

As if I don’t have enough temptations.

Filed under: HA!, PolenBabble — Twin C @ 11:13 am

It’s hard enough not playing Bejeweled Blitz at work since we’re allowed Facebook access. Or to just fire up Angry Birds and play holding my phone in my lap so no one can see what I’m doing.

Full Tilt Poker has come up with an app that lets you play on your phone. With your real account and your money.

Gamble gamble!!! I mean, no, of course, I’m totally finishing up that org chart you asked me to work on. And I’m just about finished with that expense report, I mean, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! DONKEY!!!!!! HOW DO YOU CALL WITH ONLY TWO OUTS AND THEN YOU HIT ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, no sir, you’re not a donkey. Would you like some coffee?

June 16, 2010

Apparently Hamilton’s not the only one who does it. . .

Filed under: HA! — Twin C @ 1:36 pm

(BOO! Video of a duck doing an excited stomping of feet when getting fed removed from YouTube.)

(Also, apparently it wasn’t a duck but a bar headed goose, according to Urlesque, who got this from Reddit.)

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