May 29, 2008

Yum, Nom Nom Nom

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch!, Burns — Twin B @ 8:44 pm

Scoobiesnacks for Polenbergs….


August 28, 2007

Half sad, half hysterical

Filed under: HA!, PolenBabble, Burns — Twin C @ 12:17 pm

I can’t wait to get the report on this from A and B:

The Man burned this morning.

PSB found a Flickr set already.

And here’s Laughing Squid with an ongoing report.

July 23, 2007

Oh, by the way. . .

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch!, Burns — Twin C @ 3:38 pm

Happy Birthday To Me.

Other Twins, you blow for making me have to post this myself.

Twin D called me this morning at least, and Twin A just Im-sang to me.

I’m 36. The number looks weird.

Does it count since I still feel like I’m 14?

July 19, 2007

Tattletaling was never this satisfying.

Filed under: PolenPoker, HA!, Burns — Twin C @ 8:11 pm

Some little punk at a poker table online was sore because he lost, and chose to start messing with me. (I might have instigated him a little.) The sites are pretty good about blocking offensive language, but this guy used some spaces inbetween his letters, and called me a “f a g got”. This pissed me off, as I don’t give a crap if you insult how I play, but once you get personal, and use a disgusting slur, I’m mad. He also had the audacity to say that me calling him a jackass (which, coincidentally, the poker site doesn’t block) was on the same level as him calling me a faggot. So I copied the section of chat in which he insulted me, and sent it into Support, and I just got an e-mail back saying his chat was banned.

Fuck you, jackass!!! I’m the one laughing now.

UPDATE: It appears that I have received a warning for using the term “jackass”, which I apologized for, reminding them that it is similar to “donkey”, a common poker insult. Regardless, my chat wasn’t banned. Whatever.

January 23, 2007

there must be something wrong with me

Filed under: PolenBabble, Burns — Twin B @ 10:56 pm

And all I can think is…..
can I eat it.

July 17, 2006

Twin C, this ones for you…. sucker

Filed under: PolenPoker, Burns — Twin B @ 12:07 pm


So I am playing a friendly cash game of no limit hold em.
First I am down 30 bucks quick. Then I get some
hot ass cards and a loose table and
end up like 160. BOO YA!
Then the death hand comes.
I get AK off suit
bet and called
flop A25 the 25 are suited
check and call the bet
another A comes on the turn
go all in and get called
I turn over my set of A
and he turns over 34 suited
ahhhhhhh! the straight!!! i never even saw it.
I had plenty of outs but the river did not help.
cost me about 100 bucks for the hand.
Still ended up 20 bucks for the night but
my ets ets still hurt today.

March 30, 2006

text message fun…

Filed under: PolenBabble, Burns — Twin B @ 4:40 pm

Message: Sucker?

Recipients: Twin A+C+D


Twin C: What up?

Twin D: What is up?

Twin A: Awwww

Twin D also placed a follow up call
to find out what was going on.
Just prey to my mindless afternoon
experiments. I love being a freelancer.
More doughnuts please.

August 23, 2005

When assholes attack.

Filed under: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch!, Burns — Twin C @ 10:04 pm

I moderate a Yahoo group called 00-NEW-YORK-CASTING - people e-mail the group with auditions, and classes, and occasionally other items. I approve the messages that get sent out. I’ve made it a strict policy to only approve audition notices for actors, singers, dancers, and models. I will sometimes approve a class if I know it’s reputable, and there’s some old-timer who posts helpful advice for actors, which I sometimes approve when it’s not full of commercials for his own website.

Last week I got a message directed towards SAG members. (SAG is the Screen Actors Guild, not to be confused with the Film Actors Guild in Team America.) We have a decent number of members in our group, but as far as I know the VAST majority are non-union. Furthermore, it was some guy stumping - he’s running for the New York City SAG Board of Directors. I don’t think twice - I delete the message.

A few days later, this gets sent to the group:

> > This is the 2nd time I am POSTING to this group.
> > WHY is it not being shown?

I figure, well, he sounds a little obnoxious, but I guess I should tell him why I didn’t post it, or he might just keep sending the message over and over. . . so I wrote what I thought was a cordial enough e-mail (please note that I did not actually call him a jackass):

— twinc723 wrote:

> Jackass,
> I did not approve your message because it has nothing to
> do with auditioning - I only post audition notices, and
> sometimes classes.
> I also doubt we have many SAG members on our list -
> the vast majority of casting notices we receive are non-union.
> Good luck with your election.
> Regards,
> Moderator, 00-NEW-YORK-CASTING

Earlier this evening, I get the following response:

My post has everything to do with acting.
As a PROFESSIONAL you would understand….a little
courtesey is appreciated. Oh, That’s right YOU are NON-union,
which is non-professional.

be well

Fuck you, you arrogant fucking prick. Just because I didn’t blow someone to get into SAG, you don’t have to get all fucking high and mighty. I went to his website - he’s done a decent amount of work, but he’s got some lame-ass credits on there. Yeah buddy, I really enjoyed you as the cab driver in “Stuart Little 2″. His spelling blows - typos all over the website (as well as in his e-mail.)

Perhaps I’m being immature about the whole thing (chances are, if I played that cab driver, it would be on my resume too), but he really really fucking pissed me off. I’d like to somehow make sure he doesn’t get elected. I’d like to see him never work again. I’d like to remind him that at one point, he wasn’t in SAG, and probably didn’t give a FUCK about the people who were. And PROFESSIONAL???? Professional people don’t waste other people’s time with things that don’t concern them and elections they can’t vote in.

I simply wrote back:

With that attitude, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to elect you.

And then I kicked him out of the group, and permanently banned him from it, and blocked his e-mail from my account. If he’s so professional, he doesn’t need to be on a non-union list. If I hear from him again, I’ll actually post his name on here, and get Twin A to help me make a website saying what a dickweed he is.


July 25, 2005

while the C is away the B shal play.

Filed under: Burns — Twin B @ 2:48 pm

I’ve spent most of this day tring to figure out the best way of
spoofing twinC while he is away pokerin it up. Is it either another
I’m at work bitchfest 2005 or tales of what is happening on the
poker cruise.
And I sit and try to write and its all just dumb. Maybe the
only thing funny that I came up with was calling PSB, PBJ.
but that now seems dumb as well, cause PSB rocks.
cheeeesy grits!
here I am still with nothing, but its better
than writing about my own life. I could
make the world feel better with a
self depricating rant, but my drepression
kitty* told** me thats not a good idea.

let just hope twin c becomes rich so
we can be like the Baldwins. If it
was not true already.

*the hallucinated kat that follows me
around when I am really really sad.

**depression kitty does not talk.

July 18, 2005

Someone has displeased the poker gods. . .

Filed under: PolenPoker, HA!, PolenBabble, Burns — Twin C @ 3:37 pm

Last night, Twins A and D and I (I as in me, Twin C, not I as in Twin I. There is no Twin I.) were playing at the same poker table. (Twin B had a friend in from out of town and could not attend.) Twins A and D were not faring very well (cold cold cards), and Twin A decides to play the only game he knows he can win, “Screw Your Neighbor”.

The goals of Screw Your Neighbor are: 1. to outlast all of the other players, and 2. to give them crappier cards than yours whenever possible. Each round, each player is given a card. Starting one to the left of the dealer, the player decides if he wants to keep his card (if it’s a high card), or pass it to the next player (if it’s a low card). The second player must trade with the first player, unless he/she has an ace, in which case they can say “Ha ha!” Simpsons style, or “Sorry, sucker!” or “Not this time, holmes.” or just give them the evil grin of someone who has just, you know, screwed their neighbor. (You can also screw the person passing to you, if you have a lower card than then one they are passing you - for example, if you are being passed a five when you’re holding a two - the other player is stuck with a lower card than you, and you don’t need to risk passing.) This process is repeated by each player until it is the dealer’s turn, who then can either keep his card (or whatever card was passed to him/her) or instead, toss it away and choose the top card from the deck. All the cards are shown, and the player/s with the lowest card must take one of the piles of money placed in front of them (usually two stacks of 50 cents, or four stacks of 25) and put it in the middle. The deck is passed one to the left, and the process is repeated again and again. When you lose your stacks, you’re out. The last person alive takes the whole pot.

I am not a huge fan of this game, as it takes about .000001 of your brain power to play, and relies entirely on luck. Therefore, if I am ever lucky enough to make it to the final two people, especially if we have the same number of stacks left, I offer to stop playing and split the pot. Usually the opponent refuses, but every once in a while someone sees my logic. You’ve been lucky enough to make it this far - why tempt fate?

Twin A says “Two piles of 50 cents!” and we lay out our stacks. The game moves quickly, as there are only five of us. Suddenly it is down to just A and me, and we both have both our stacks. I ask, “Do you want to split it?” “No way! This is the only game I can win!” says A with utmost confidence. We play a round, both get sixes, and both have to toss in a stack. “We can still split it up. . .” I say. “NOT A CHANCE!” declares A! I am then dealt an ace, and A tosses a low card and gets. . . a queen! I rake in the pot, A cursing and me laughing and saying “We could have split it. . .”

Cut to a half hour later, when A, still losing, demands another round of Screw Your Neighbor. This time, he ends up against only Twin D, both with one stack. Twin D, either mockingly or seriously, says “Do you want to split the pot?”, and Twin A says “NO NO NO NO! I’m going to win it!”

Twin D is then dealt an ace, and Twin A a queen.

I laughed so hard I thought I was going to choke.

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